26 Days

God is so good.
I found out that my shots were going to be about $410!
I prayed about it, then I found out that I can just get them in Uganda, for $30 and my malaria medicine for only $4!
I was so excited about this and then I was furious because if it only costs $4 a month for malaria medicine more people should be taking it! I was watching the invisible children dvd with sara and jammers before they left for cali to work with IC and one of the boys on the video was talking about not feeling well, he casually says, "I have malaria, Im not feeling great, Im going to rest, I will be back soon"
WHAT?!
He so casually says, "I have malaria"
People die from malaria everyday!
Its horrible! All it takes is $4 a month to spare someone from this?
I payed $4.03 for a coffee at starbucks last night. Im not trying to make everyone feel bad for living in america or liking coffee or whatever but it think it puts things in perspective a little bit.

I got to meet up with a lovley lady named lisa lastnight, shes amazing! I love how God has been sending me encouragement after encouragement through people. She just found out that her cervical cancer went back into remition, and shes praising GOd like crazy, and she was praising God when it wasnt. She really gets it, this whole its not about us thing, its about GOd and his glory. We had so much in common and we totally got to relate and have great conversation on the way home from biblestudy.

The coolest part of the whole conversation was that Lisa told me that I was a blessing to HER, and some of the girls at the bible study. She said that just because of my age and where Im going and how obviously GOd is working in my life, the girls are inspired. I pray for that so much, that my life and what i do with it would not only point people to God but inspire them to persue him and have the courage to do great things through and in His awsome Name. It was such an encouragement! I have no education (other than HS) I have no plans, no home, no car, no nothing! God uses people like me! He uses the least likley to do great things, and I know he will do great things through me simply because I am willing. Dont get me wrong, Im not trying to solve the whole worlds problems and im not expecting to, but the greatest of all this is love, and thats what i want to do, is love people.

Ive been praying so much about this whole thing with Ian. I miss him so much but I know that its better for us to just not even see or talk to eachother at this point, and it really really sucks. I know that God has done such a cool work in his life, and it wouldnt have been able to happen unless I broke up with him. Unless he was totally shoved out of what was comfortable for him, he wouldnt have so desperatley cried out to GOd to change him, renew him and strengthen him.
I guess this is really what loving someone is like, letting go and giving up what you want in exchange for what the one you love needs. I never thought I would be capable of loving someone so much as to totally give up what I want like this. Yes the relationship wasnt perfect, we had our insecurities that we took out on eachother, we tripped eachother up alot, ect.. but he was still such a huge part of my life, and not having him in it, esspecially right now, before I leave for Uganda, its hard not having him here to encourage me. On the 11th of this month (4 days) it wold have been our three year anniversary....The bible talks about sewing seed, and having a 100 fold harvest. I know that if i alow God to sew the seeds of love in me, it will reap a 100 fold harvest, and my love will not go unused or unapriciated. Please pray for me to stop missing him like this, and that I could throw myself head first into what GOd wants for me, and right now thats for me to be in Uganda with Suubi.

Ive been praying more and more about Colorado, and possibly working for light gives heat. Please pray for guidence on this. I would need a car to move out there, not to worried about a place to stay, GOd has a way of always working that out for me. But, im trying hard not to want to prepare and look too far into the future because I just want what God wants for me, I dont want to make any assumptions and want what I want instead of what he wants.

I leave in 26 days.
WOW.