Thier There and They're (11 days)

Its crazy what God has instore for us and the people he brings into ourlives. I love that when you make yourself availible to be used by God, he uses you. Yesterday me and Sarahs twin Rachel and another friend of ours took Sarah back to school in Chicago. I was so sad....Sarah has been such a blesssing to me this summer, in a matter of two months or so we have become so close, and shared so much! Just waking up next to her was my favorite hah i dont want to sound creepy (if you know me you know im such a touchy person ahah so sleeping in the same bed with my girl friends isnt a big deal at all hah) she's so beautiful and she loves God and people so much! I see Jesus in her everyday. Anyway, we got there set up all her stuff and got that situated and headed out to the city (i was even more bummded because Sarah couldnt come with us...no i was pissed hah) Me and S. (that shal be his name hah bc im getting ready to get into some pretty personal stuff) and Rach get on the train (ahhh so fun!!!) and travel into the heart of Chicago (i stinkin loved it I probably looked like I was five years old hah) We get off the train and see that crazy bean thing (wich i totally loved because I heard so many different languages it was so funny, and I saw this indian couple takig a picture but it was hillarious because they were both wearing traditional indian atire and standing infront of this huge metal bean, they werent even smiling hah it was sooo funnny) and went and saw where Rachel was going to be living (wich is in the sweetest apartment ever! right ny millenium park, like she can see the bean from her window!) and we walked around just hanging out and taking it all in. We had a fun little day in the city and I loved it, but the part I was most looking forward to would be the ride home with S.

Me and S have been friends for a while, i met him through one of my closest friends Jacob, who is in the marines now and I miss him terribly. Im a huge fan of life stories and really knowing people, thier background, where they want to go in life, what they love, what hurts them stuff like that, If im going to know someone, i want to really really know them. I think thats what Jesus would do to. S is 18 years old, last year he was supposed to graduate, he didnt, so now hes still in school and the poor kid hates it. ( i hated highschool too so i could totally relate to him hah)
He works at a bowling alley and is an actuall proffesional bowler. He drinks and smokes, and listens to bands like Against Me! (most of you reading this probably dont know who that is but it explains him and alot of my friends very well hah). He doesnt have tattoos yet but he will soon, as soon as jake gets back hah. I love this kid to death.

So I have my tearful goodbye to my Sarah, and we head back to Detroit. We get in the car and I look at S and I say, "Tell me your life story".
People react differently, some people are all about it, some people are like, no way hah, i take a chance everytime hah but usually it ends up fulliling its purpose and they tell me.
He seemed a little bit hesitent to open up, and he asked me about what happened with me and Ian, so I started opening up to him a little, so he could know he could trust me. I told him about everything with Ian (he went to highschool with Ian) and the hurt from it, but how I still respect him and everything, and of course what God was doing in my life because of it.
When it was his time to talk, he was so open and so genuine and so real it almost brought me to tears. He started telling me about how his parents split and him mom just left, his dad became a workaholic, his stepmom hit him and his brother and pushed Mormanism on them, how he started doing drugs when he was like 13. He told me about how he lost his virginity to a girl he thought he was in love with, (when he was like 15) and then she moved away and started daiting someone else, and eventually had a baby, and how he was so heartbroken at the state of this girls life, and how he somehow felt guilty for it. He told me about how he hated his dad for giving up on him and his brother and how now that they got everything figured out he would take a bullet for that man. He told me about how when his brother joined the navy he was so proud and that he wanted to be just like his brother. He was so passionate about the people in his life and had so much fire and love in him that it was overwelming. He told me he had tried to commit suicide four times and something stoped him everytime.
Then we started talking about Jesus.
He told me he wanted to belive in God, and Jesus, but that he was just so confused about everything that he just doesnt want to think about it.

2 Corinthians 3:12
Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Ezekiel 13:19
'Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against your magic charms with which you ensnare people like birds and I will tear them from your arms; I will set free the people that you ensnare like birds. I will tear off your veils and save my people from your hands, and they will no longer fall prey to your power. Then you will know that I am the LORD.

The converstation went on and he went to tell me some pretty intence stuff, like how he knows that there is good and evil in this world and that its his fear of evil that is keeping him from seeking truth. I proceded to tell him all about the fact that Jesus, he came and obolished that power, and that In him, we have power over evil in every way.

Mark 16:15
He (Jesus) said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

Romans 16:20
The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

I told him about how powerful Jesus, a man, was over the enemy, Satan. About how in Jesus death, we have the power of life, and that overpowers all evil. The light is what the darkness most fears. I told him that in Jesus we have victory, that nothing can seperate us from the love of God.

Romans 8:28
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Then he started telling me again how he was just so confused, and it was almost like he said there was like a cloud infront of his face, that just blocked him from seeing Jesus for whe he knows he is. I know its true too, like the verses about viels, Satan has totally veiled the eyes of this generation, with lies and confustion and it pisses me off. I started telling him about how in Jerimiah, it says that when we seek God with all our hearts, we will be found by us, he wont hold back, he will rip the veils from our faces and lift the scales from our eyes and he burst out with:

"Kirstin, you know whats stopping me? Forgivness. I know that God wants to forgive me, I know, I just cant forgive myself! I cant forgive myself for being adicted to cocaine for nine months, I cant forgive myself for the girls that ive slept with and the things ive said to people, I cant forgivemyself for trying to kill myself, I cant, I just cant forgive myself."

I sat there in silence for a second. I couldnt belive that this conversation was happening. I couldnt belive that God had chosed me to be the one to tell this person that that was a lie. So i told him, "You how I told you Satan lies to us, thats one of the bigest lies that satan uses, that we dont deserve forgivness and relationship with a holy God, but its a lie, a strait up lie, and i wish you could see it for that, Jesus loves you so much S."

I told him about how Jesus loved us so much, so so much, that he died for us, even though he knew we would still sin, and how he died for people who didnt even believe in him. I started to tell him about the holy spirit, and how thats eveidence for me that Jesus is alive in my, and I told him about how before Jesus, the spirit of God was contained, and when Jesus died for us, he made the spirit of God availible to all of us, despite our sin.

Matthew 27:51
At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, "Surely he was the Son of God!"

After I shared that verse with S. he told me that he felt like his heart was that Curtain, his unbelief and guilt was stopping him from expiriencing Jesus. It wouldnt be more true, and when Jesus died for S. that curtain was torn, Jesus is above S's unbeilf and guilt, and I know with everyfiber of my being that S. is going to come to Jesus.

The rest of the car ride home was filled with me telling S about how much Jesus has changed my life, like turned it upside down. I told him about love, real love, true love, love that would lay down its life for S and for me. I told him about how people take love, they take Jesus and try to put words in His mouth and burden people with rediculous expectations. I couldnt stop telling him about the love of Jesus. I know that God was speaking through me because I was ministering to myself hah. It was soo intence.

The car ride didnt end in S. praying with me or giving his life to Jesus but I know its just a matter of time, and the holy spirits time at that. The really funny thing is though, through our conversation, S brought up another one of my friends Mike. This is a whole nother story in itself, baisically when I was in thailand last year I had a dream that Mike would give himself to Jesus and get baptized and lead a bunch of kids downriver to Jesus, I woke up from this dream (mind you i never met mike, i didnt even know who he was before I met him after I had this dream) and prayed for Mike, that God would free him from his prison of addiction and guilt, and that God would heal his body from the drugs he was on and all this crazy stuff, i thought i was going insane hah, turns out that the day i had that dream, mike got out of prison, by chance, and he came to alive, the youthgroup i volunteer at. About a month later I was standing in a lake with Mike, baptizing him. Mike was on fire for God for about a month, and then then i dont know what happend, he just fell away, but I knew that GOd would continue the work that he had done in Mikes life, so I didnt push it. I told S last night about it, how I know that God is still going to use Mike in crazy ways even though right now hes still sleeping around and on drugs, one day, Jesus is going to use Mike to glorify himself. (S. had heard about Mike getting baptized and didnt even believe it hah thats how crazy this guy Mike is) I woke up this morning to tell you guys about S. and i looked on my myspace and Mike left me a comment asking to hang out. I havent talked to him in like a few months, and I know that its Gods timing that it happened like this.

I never though God would even want to ever use me like this, Im so elated. Im so honored, and its sooo cool because the reason I have all these pircings and my tattoo and stuff, its so that people like S and Mike can relate to me, these kids are in a really rough croud, and I know that God has called me to minister to them too, because most Christians are like, afraid of kids on drugs, and no one wants to step down into their lives and bail them out of jail and give them a place to stay, even though they dont say thank you and make a huge mess and eat all your food even though you work two jobs and cant even afford to feed yourself. No one wants to buy them a cup of coffee and listen to thier hearts, thats all they need, and Im so so so honored that God is using me in thier lives, Its crazy that God trusts me with that, I dont see why, and mabey its my own addictions that makes me relate to them so much, Im just blown away by the raw humaness and desperation for Love that these kids have. Please pray for the youth of downriver.

With all that, My heart is leaping at the idea of leaving in 11 days, and its soooo cool too because In me leaving for Uganda, S. and Mike and Jake and all these kids that im totally in love with, they see Jesus providing for me and taking me on these crazy awsome out of this world sureal adventures. What 19 year old girl with no money or education just up and goes to Uganda? Not many. Me just going is a testimony to them that my God is alive and working in me and in the world.


Isaiah 61
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. "For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them.Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

1 Corinthians 9:22
I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law.To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.